The List
As you follow Dayzee in her adventures you will hear Dayzee mention The List. So as to not confuse you, Dayzee shall explain The List. But first Dayzee needs a drink, as this will be messy.
Okay here’s the deal. Back when Dayzee had just begun the adventuring life, she made a friend. Or at least she thought she’d made a friend. This friend was a man who thought he was the man for Dayzee. Little did he know a man was going to have to work awfully hard and be a particularly good man if that man wanted to be the man for Dayzee. That was a fun sentence to write.
Anyway, it happens that Dayzee mostly plays for the other team but still doesn’t discount men. They simply have to work harder to get Dayzee’s attention.
So, as the story goes Dayzee meets this man, let’s call him Dick. Dick tried ridiculously hard to be a particularly good man in Dayzee’s presence but when he left Dayzee’s presence he tried to be a particularly good man with other women. One evening when the two of them, Dayzee and Dick, were enjoying a drink or two, another woman walked up to Dayzee and slapping her in the face screamed.
“He’s mine, bitch!”
Now Dayzee is an easy-going person but when slapped and called the B-word Dayzee’s hackles rose. Dayzee began to cast a spell to remove this screeching female when Dick jumped in grabbing Dayzee’s spell casting, interrupting the hammer that was about to come crashing down on this harpy.
“Wait Dayzee. I have a confession.” Dick’s chin trembled and sweat ran rivers darkening his jersey.
“Yes,” Dayzee looked at him with fire in her eyes and thunder in her brain. “Please, Dick, explain, and it better be good. Nay excellent.” Dayzee growled and shook her fist under his nose. The sweat on Dick’s face started to pool on his upper lip. “Otherwise it’ll be The List for you. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Dick.”
“Umm okay…” Dick stands up and moves to stand next to the bitch. “I was going to tell you when the time was right. This is my wife,” at this the woman sneers in Dayzee’s direction and thrusts her impressive chest out, “I get a little mixed up sometimes when I’m drinking and well you get the idea.” He backs away, along with the woman, putting a few feet between them and Dayzee.
“So Dayzee wonders when the time was going to be right?”
Right here if you could see steam pouring out of Dayzee’s ears she’d be obscured in the mist. But that’s not how it works in the real world. Instead the bright red of embarrassment takes over Dayzee’s face. What was she thinking?
“Looks like you’ve become the first name on The List.” This was the first time she’d thought of The List and it seemed fitting for her. Everyone has a list but her’s would be a list you didn’t want to be on.
“Ah,” Dick quivered, and the sweat poured off his forehead and into his eyes. He wiped the sweat from his eyes with the back of his hand and with the other, grabbing his wife’s hand. She grimaced at the sweaty hand clasped in hers.
“The List? What does that mean?” The dick said.
Dayzee grins with teeth and Dick winces, “Oh it’s just a record of those who’ve done Dayzee wrong. Nothing to worry about if you stay on Dayzee’s good side. Guess what though? You done Dayzee wrong. So wrong side of good and for you it’s The List. You can take it to your grave knowing you’re the first and be certain you’re not going to be the last.”
And with that The List is born. Dayzee still saw Dick on occasion but shortly after Dayzee and the wife got together—one day over a few drinks—the wife filed for divorce. Let’s just say Dayzee showed her the error of her ways. No hard feelings.
And The List lives on. It’s an exceedingly small list and if at all possible, it’s a list you don’t want to have anything to do with. Certainly not to see your name on The List. Just sayin’.
Now about that drink—
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